Thursday, November 12, 2009

Have you ever done at least one of these?

Annoying things to do in an elevator











1.Walk on with a cooler that is labeled "HUMAN HEAD" on the side.





2.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"





3.Crack open your briefcase of purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?





4.Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.





5.When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.





6.Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.





7.Meow occasionally.





8.Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.





9.Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM" and back away slowly.





10.Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.





11.Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.





12.Annouce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."





13.Say "Ding" at each floor.





14.Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.





15.Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.





16.Stare, grinning at another passenger for awhile, and then announce, "I have new socks on."





17.When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"





18.Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.





19.Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space."





20.When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.





21.Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.





22.Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.





23.Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.





24.Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"





25.Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"








23.Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.





24.Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.





25.Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.





26.Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.





27.Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.





28.Ask, "Did you feel that?"





29.Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.





30.When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay.





31.Don't panic, they open up again."





32.Swat at flies that don't exist.





33.Tell people that you can see their aura.





34.Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.





35.Shave.





36.On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.





37.Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"





38.When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now... motion sickness!"





39.Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"





40.Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.





41.Leave a box between the doors.





42.Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your head.





43.Start a sing-along.








44.One word: Flatulence!





45.Do Tai Chi exercises





46.When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"





47.Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.





48.If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"





49.Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.





50.Bring a chair along.





51.Lean against the button panel.





52.While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.





53.Call out, "group hug!", then enforce it.

Have you ever done at least one of these?
2,4,7,13,14,15,16,22,41,43,48,49,51,53





all because I've heard of this list and me and my friends were doing it for fun.





it was sooooo fun!!!
Reply:I don't have an elevator to experiment on
Reply:thats funny, but u repeated a couple
Reply:Ohhh,,,I've definitely tried a few of those...
Reply:30 and 31 mixed into the same sentence.. and some of them you've repeated twice.. lol.. but they're funny.. "I've got new socks on.." funny..
Reply:this is really fun to do!!
Reply:No,...


But it is now my life's goal to do every single one!!! Except shave, because I'm a girl, and that could be akward...


DUH! an elevator is super small! I need more space than THAT to shave.
Reply:i might try one of these the next time i get on the elevator
Reply:i am going to try some tomorrow
Reply:16 and 37 are the same....
Reply:Don't think I could pull any of them off with a straight face. Super funny tho. I would die laughing
Reply:That's HILARIOUS!


I love 24. Hi Greg how's your day been!


lol! 10/10


40 Tips for living life?

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.





2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.





3. Buy a TIVO, tape your late night shows and get more sleep.





4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement: My purpose is to___________ today.





5. Live with the 3 E's. Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy.





6. Watch more movies, play more games and read more books than you did in 2006.





7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, qigong, prayer, or whatever you believe. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.





8. Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.





9. Dream more while you are awake.





10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less foods that are manufactured in plants.





11. Drink green tea %26amp; plenty of water and eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli,almonds %26amp; walnuts.

40 Tips for living life?
I needed that after my ALREADY stressful day at work...Good tips!
Reply:Don't forget to laugh, cry and think everyday. Great tips.
Reply:not to rip u but 21 have a sex life
Reply:thanks..





pet your pet is another good one
Reply:40 Tips for Living Life:





1. Live it under God.


2. Live for a purpose.


3. Live loving people.


4. Whatever you do, do it as unto the Lord.


5. Live at peace with others.


6. Make it your goal to make others successful.


7. Prioritize your life.; it is so short (70 - 80 years; Ps 90:10)


8 - 40 Practice 1 -7.
Reply:Don't sweat the small stuff. Do unto others as you wish others to do unto you.
Reply:Like the song says, live your life like your dying.
Reply:I just wanted to say that all these things to live by are cool, but also, another good thing that wasn't mentioned is to have a pet, they're good for your heart and soul.


Where can i find instructions for making a sword sheathe?

i have 3 wooden practice swords and i want a sheathe for them that i can make with stuff lying around the house. when i make side or back sheathes, they hold the sword in an akward position that the sword is NOT suposed to be in. please help me. i have a katana, a tai chi, and a longsword

Where can i find instructions for making a sword sheathe?
you should contact someone in the sca in your local area and join, you would love it and there are lots of people there who can help you, just put SCA into a web search and then look for your area of the country, canada and many other countries are included. enjoy.
Reply:What is the point of that? It is simply not appropriate (and highly disrespectful I might add) to practice the draw or the draw and cut with a wooden sword. Those swords are for live work with a human being (so you can practice without killing them). They can also be a weapon all their own but of a different character. But for Iaido, the art of carry, draw and cut, you use a real sword.





Those other swords are not real swords. You might disagree but if it ever came down to it you would simply be killed.


I've always walked to keep in shape but this usually grinds to a halt when winter rolls around. I've read a

bit about Tai Chi, and am interested in learning for when the weather is miserable and for the later years. As a beginner, where would be a good place to start?

I've always walked to keep in shape but this usually grinds to a halt when winter rolls around. I've read a
If you belong to a gym, check there. If not, try your local community center. Or look for it on DVD.

lilycare

Which style of karate is best for me?

I'm looking to take up the martial arts, but I'm looking for a style that combines a good amount of meditation (Tai Chi style) and at the same time an excellent, full workout on muscular strength and flexibility.





Any suggestions?





Also, does anyone have a good place that matches this, in NYC?

Which style of karate is best for me?
Most Traditional Martial Arts will have a meditative or spiritual aspect to it; but what you focus on putting into it, you'll get it in return, and all martial arts will give you a ceratin degree of workout with your muscular system as well as a good source of cardio and endurance training.





the discipline doesn't matter, it's the frequency and quality of your training that will allow you to improve, and not the difference in disciplines.





as far as flexibility is concerned, you have to train at it to gain flexibility through stretching and continue to train to keep the flexibility as you will lose some flexibility over time but very little.
Reply:Tang Soo!





good to hear from fellow Moo Duk Kwan practitioners





Good luck in progressing your Martial Arts knowledge with whatever discipline you choose, I myself have taken up Hapkido to make myself a more well rounded Martial Artist Report It

Reply:I'm a black belt in Wado Kai and it is very good for both...make sure you have a reputable teacher.
Reply:Ninjitsu
Reply:I do have a good place in NYC that does match this as far as training goes, however any meditative art is not likely going to teach you to fight or fitness. I'll email you the information because He is in semi-retirement now and the only contact information I have is a phone number and address.





EDIT: To the poster below. Can you send me the info about the Tai Chi guy in the bronx? I'm not interested in becoming his student but It always interests me to see someone who can actually apply tai chi properly, I have only met one instructor to ever do so and am curious. It isn't Novell is it? I wasn't aware he taught tai chi if it is him.
Reply:Tai Chi doesn't have to be a meditative form of martial arts.





There used to be a gorgeous, peaceful guy named Jose Figueroa who taught Tai Chi course at Wave Hill in the Bronx on Saturdays. I asked him did he teach real martial arts rather than Tai Chi. He said Tai Chi is a real martial arts and showed the moves in fast motion, which blew my mind. I went on the website and another instructor teaches there now.





What about Capoeira? You need a lot of strength and agility for that form.
Reply:Please be aware that all karate's are martial arts but not all martial arts are karate.


I highly recommend that you seek a good place to train instead of a good style. Do not put too much emphasis on style.





Also if all you want is a meditation and a workout, most of your local gyms should be able to provide this. A martial art is not needed to achieve these ends.Taking a martial art offers one more detail that you are not mentioning, self-defense. If you really don't have interest in self-defense you may quickly grow weary of your training.
Reply:Any traditional style should meet your needs. It's not the style, it's the school %26amp; the instructor. Talk to the instructor before signing up. In our Tae Kwon Do organization, we have both meditation %26amp; physical workouts, but, unfortunately, we don't have any schools in the NYC area.





Good luck
Reply:As I've experienced thus far most karate styles lack a good amount of meditation. usually it will get you fit though. the Chinese internal martial arts like Tao Chi, Bagua and Xing Yi integrate martial, health and meditative aspects. They can be practiced into old age. Check out the 100 year old man performing a Bagua sword form on youtube! It's difficult to find good teachers though. Apart from their knowledge and their ability to transfer their knowledge to students there are a lot of people who start teaching after a 10 day course in Tai Chi for example. If you want to combine fitness, meditation and gain an ability to defend yourself Bagua could be your thing. I know of two teachers in NYC; a guy called the Black Taoist and Frank Allen. Don't know their credentials, but you can find them on the net.


Job Application, what they sat and what they mean?

I know how to deal with stressful situations:





I'm usually on Prozac. When I'm not, I take lots of cigarette and coffee breaks.





I seek a job that will draw upon my strong communication %26amp; organizational skills:





I talk too much and like to tell other people what to do.





I'm extremely adept at all manner of office organization:





I've used Microsoft Office.





My pertinent work experience includes:





I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had.





I take pride in my work:





I blame others for my mistakes.





I'm balanced and centered:





I'll keep crystals at my desk and do Tai Chi in the lunchroom.





I have a sense of humor:





I know a lot of corny, old jokes and I tell them badly.





I'm willing to relocate:





As I leave San Quentin, anywhere's better.





I'm extremely professional:





I carry a Day-Timer.





My background and skills match your requirements:





You're probably looking for someone more experienced.





I am adaptable:





I've changed jobs a lot.





I am on the go:





I'm never at my desk.





I'm highly motivated to succeed:





The minute I find a better job, I'm outta there.





I have formal training:





I'm a college dropout.





I interact well with co-workers:





I've been accused of sexual harassment.





Thank you for your time and consideration:





Wait! Don't throw me away!

Job Application, what they sat and what they mean?
you have been reading my application, i showed you that in confidence,pmsl


starred
Reply:sorry the post as been filled.lol
Reply:"We're not quite finished interviewing candidates--we'll let you know in a few days. Don't call us-we'll call you."
Reply:hahaha your jokes always put me in a good mood. lol
Reply:I like
Reply:Good one!
Reply:hahaha


brilliant


your best yet
Reply:hahahahahaaa brilliant!!!





Taking this one into work with me next week....,,pmsl
Reply:ha ha ha funny
Reply:Hahahahahahaaa, that was soooooooo funny.
Reply:lmao , good one...thx for makng my day and cheering me up with your jokes and cheering me up, another awesome joke. Your on a roll today, keep em coming....star
Reply:i believe all those but babyblue going back to work is a bit far fetched


sorry for late answers


i been a tad busy
Reply:hahahaha!!!





good one!!

flower

Can anyone give any first hand knowledge of the benefits of FENG SHUI...???

i received a mailing from a woman who is touted as being a great great feng shui-er; there were many comments from satisfied customers giving glorified comments regarding received benefits... promised better health, better relationship, better life in general... im a ny'er so im cynical, but i like to believe that there is something to these ancient eastern arts like YOGA, FENG SHUI, QI GONG, TAI CHI...etc...





also if anyone has any favorite books on the subect that'd be way cool... happy holidays all

Can anyone give any first hand knowledge of the benefits of FENG SHUI...???
there is no book or website that tell all about what fengshui is about. most info that is out there is about clack hat fengshui or clearing clutter fengshui, which is not what most chinese fengshui masters use.





i learned fengshui from a couple of chinese masters. and fengshui is really about the fengshui concepts and techniques. it starts as chi having qualities of yin and yang, then from there, the different concepts are derived, from where the techniques are taken.





remember that fengshui is not a belief, not a religion, not a philosophy. and you don't need to be psychic to learn fengshui. you just need a luo pan or a common compass. though a luo pan is more than a compass, because each ring on the compass represents a technique. so when you understand and know how to use th luo pan, you basically know fengshui.





there is a book that teaches flying stars called A Master Course in Feng-shui by Eva Wong (ISBN: 1-57062-584-0): this book just teaches 1 technique; get the second edition as it has more exercises at the back of the book.





you need to understand that different masters have different takes on the same concept. and msot authors do not write about the real purpose or secret use of a concept/ technique.





ms. lillian too is a good writer, but she is no fengshui master. she learned fengshui from yap cheng hai. but both are offering fengshui courses around the world. why learn from an amateur, when you can learn from the master?





if you are interested in attending fegnshui seminars, do research on the person teaching fengshui, regarding his/ her experiences in fengshui. the more they are exposed in the fengshui consulting business, the better. and not all fengshui seminars are expensive. try www.fengshuisos.com
Reply:well...I personally believe practices like Feng Shui are best when you study them %26amp; jump in %26amp; do it yourself...maybe have a skilled practicioner guide you a wee bit. But, I think the most benifit comes from learning %26amp; experinceing the effects for yourself...I organize my room according to the princples of Feng Shei %26amp; it gives me a sense of organazation... knowing where everything is...%26amp; freedom to move things around %26amp; see the diffrernce in how the space feels... it just generally makes me more aware %26amp; presenet to my daily life.